its not stalking. its research.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
