It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
