if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
