I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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