So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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