I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
