i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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