Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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