There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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