i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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