I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
