I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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