the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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