I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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