yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
