yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
