is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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