So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
