Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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