Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
