do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
