Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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