ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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