Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
