Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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