It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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