yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
ok first of all what the fuck
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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