she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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