Apparently you make a good broom.
he puts the penis in happiness.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
