I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
