I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
