Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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