the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
