I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize