Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
