your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
