i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
