oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
