You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
