Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
