I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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