Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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