Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
