you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
