She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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