Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
