i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
