I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
