it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just found a bag of teeth...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
