Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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