PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
