The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
