Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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