you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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