so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
