i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Couch. On fire.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
