So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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